Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize