if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
