he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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