my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
