so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
