Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize