i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
