out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
