Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
