Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
