God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize
