Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
tell me about the eggs
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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