ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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