i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
