I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
