I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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