is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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