i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
