I hate your face
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
