She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
