Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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