Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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