is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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