We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
