i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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