My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
