If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
