Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
