THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
