I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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