We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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