So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
