When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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