i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
