We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
