I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
