He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Randomize
