Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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