remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
