this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
