You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
