That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
