11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
