I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize