It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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