I can text with my tongue
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
