glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
