Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
