Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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