Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him

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(703): View more from Virginia

So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win

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(917): View more from New York City

your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?

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(937): View more from Ohio

just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.

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(314): View more from Missouri

DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??

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(360): View more from Washington

Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.

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(407): View more from Florida

Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?

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(360): View more from Washington

Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia

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(217): View more from Illinois

yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?

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