Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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