You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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