You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
