While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
