Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
