You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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