I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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