No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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