First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
