I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
